Conditioned Response
by peroxidepest17
Summary: Kira makes Ikkaku walk a mile in his shoes.


**Title:** Conditioned Response  
**Universe:** Bleach  
**Theme/Topic:** Unconventional pillow talk  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Character/Pairing/s: **IkkakuxKira, Yumichika  
**Warnings/Spoilers: **None I can imagine. But some pretty crazy OOC.  
**Word Count: **1,832  
**Summary: **Kira makes Ikkaku walk a mile in his shoes.  
**Dedication:** thehoyden's request on my other lj! You, my dear, are a hard act to follow. But I will try to live up to the standards you've set for the pairing. Hope you enjoy, and sorry it took so long!  
**A/N:** This um, only LOOSELY follows the theme I was given, but really, it was all I could think of. I am not a very creative person ultimately, I think. XD Anyway, despite failing at following the prompt, I hope it at least makes a strange sort of sense. Because what makes sense in my head usually has no real world applications. Sorry if it is completely incomprehensible.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine, though I wish constantly.  
**Distribution:** Just lemme know.

* * *

He can admit that, all things considered, Ikkaku has been unusually patient with him. This of course, takes into consideration Ikkaku's patience threshold on a normal day. It is very low.

And Kira is fairly certain it's a bit too simplistic of Ikkaku to expect him to forget _all_ of the conditioning Ichimaru-taichou had so painstakingly sought to impart on him over the years. Sometimes, sometimes Kira thinks that it is unfair for Ikkaku to push for so much change so soon given what Izuru has been through.

It is not his fault that he still freezes— just a little bit— every time he hears someone speak his former captain's name. At least all the blood doesn't drain from his face like it used to, and the chill only lasts at most, a fraction of an instant now.

And just because there are still rooms in the third division that he does not wish to visit (or revisit, as the case may be), does not make him a slave to his former captain's whims. He just doesn't like the memories in those rooms, and sees no reason to go into them if it's merely to prove or disprove a point that, as far as he is concerned, no longer really matters.

Ikkaku sometimes does not understand these things. Sometimes, when he sees the blond vice-captain freeze—just for a second—at the sound of Ichimaru's name, or when he seems Kira speed up in the halls past one of those unhappy rooms without being consciously aware that he is doing it, Madarame-taichou will sigh at him or snort at him and say, "Gimme a break, Izuru." And while the words are a bit harsh, Kira knows that all of them actually translate— somewhere in the vast indecipherable tongue of Ikkaku-speech— as the bald captain blaming himself for being unable to fully destroy the grasp Gin once had on Kira.

Sometimes Kira thinks that that is an unfair assessment. He tries to communicate this opinion to Ikkaku every now and again, but he can see by the furrow in his lover's brow that it does not compute one-hundred percent. He wonders what he'll have to do to get the concept to stick.

When he can't figure it out all on his own, he goes to the person he knows who can.

Yumichika, as always, is of great help. And very willing to share his brilliance with those willing to listen.

"Ah, he is a bit unfair sometimes, isn't he?" The new ninth division captain twitters after Kira comes to him for help one afternoon, though his laughter is more derisive than amused, like he is remembering some far off time of his own when Ikkaku had been comparably as stupid as he is being now. There are probably many examples.

"Mm," Kira agrees, and sips his tea. "What should I do about it?"

Yumichika raises one delicate brow and smiles around the brim of his own tea cup. "Well, dear fukutaichou," he begins, drolly, "as the old saying goes, sometimes we must walk a mile in another's shoes before we even begin to try and judge them."

Kira asks for him to please elaborate, and Yumichika—as always—is happy to help. After the pretty ninth division shinigami explains what he means, Izuru cannot help but admit that the reason that Yumichika is often of such great help to him is because Yumichika is not frightened to go for a man's balls and squeeze—hard.

That very important lesson learned about Ikkaku's best friend (and subsequently filtered away for future reference), Kira returns to his division and thinks that a mile in someone else's shoes is a good idea.

That night, after they are stretched out in bed flexing deliciously sore muscles and fighting to catch their breath, Kira remembers that tonight he has ulterior motives as well. And while he does not mind indulging Ikkaku on any normal night, tonight he had been certain to be _extra _nice. It shows—Ikkaku is still cursing a bit and staring up at the ceiling. He practically thrums satisfaction from beside Izuru.

So Kira takes the opportunity to slide up against Ikkaku and rest his cheek on his captain's chest, fingers idling over slick skin as he listens to the other man's heartbeat for one moment, two.

"Nngh," Ikkaku grunts, and obligingly wraps an arm around Izuru's shoulders when he cuddles close.

"Ne," Kira begins after a moment, sweetly, gently, "what shall we do tomorrow?"

Ikkaku blinks. "Tomorrow."

"Mm." Kira smiles against Ikkaku's collarbone, continues to idly trace meaningless patterns on the other man's abdomen. "Tomorrow."

Ikkaku stills ever so slightly. "Tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow. What shall we do? Something special? I was thinking of making your favorite meal."

Ikkaku tenses. "Er… oh. Well. Don't uh, don't go out of your way or nothin'," he murmurs, and Kira can practically hear the gears in that big bald head turning, trying to figure out what about tomorrow is supposed to be special enough to warrant a favorite meal.

He feels a bit bad for doing this, but Yumichika had insisted that he remained firm in proving his point, as Ikkaku is an unusually thick species of male. "For the greater good," the pretty shinigami had said, and patted Kira on the back reassuringly.

Yumichika can be very convincing when he wants to be, Kira thinks.

"We could have a picnic," Kira suggests next, and nuzzles along the curve of Ikkaku's neck, the underside of his jaw.

"Uh," Ikkaku begins, and might just be panicking a little bit now.

Kira finds it a bit of a relief admittedly—it is good to see that he is not the only one who has been influenced so strongly by a long-running relationship with someone much more powerful than him.

"Er… should I get you some uh…flowers?" Ikkaku attempts, experimentally. Kira manages to hold back the snort that that suggestion would otherwise prompt under normal circumstances.

"Why would you buy flowers?" he says instead, very reasonably.

And then he can feel Ikkaku's jaw clench a little bit, because the other man undoubtedly thinks that that response means that whatever tomorrow is supposed to signify is actually much more important than he'd initially thought and will require something more impressive than flowers.

"Right. Silly of me," Ikkaku says, quickly. "Er… so. Maybe we ought to go'n get that new dresser you were talkin' about last week?"

It's tempting to agree, but Kira feels the point is more important than the dresser, though he really does think it's about time Ikkaku stops pitching all of his clothes in the corner of the room farthest from the door simply because that way, it is (quote-unquote) easy to find them when he needs them.

"Mmm, no shopping. Not for tomorrow," Kira says in response, and lets his lips flutter just above Ikkaku's skin, tickling when he speaks.

It is not meant to be a comforting gesture. It is not taken as such.

Ikkaku swallows. "Huh. No shopping then. Sure, whatever you want. Er… how about… uh. Well. I guess I could clean out the gutters like I've been meanin' to?"

And that would also be nice, Kira thinks, but again, he is determined to be resolute. "No. Not for tomorrow."

He can see the tension in Ikkaku's cheek now, and fights back the urge to reach up and massage it out.

A moment.

And then, a deep breath, as Ikkaku gathers his courage, looking down at the blond in absolute and utter repentance. His fists are clenched. "Fuck it. I gotta be honest with you, blondie. I ain't got a single idea as to what tomorrow is." Pause. And then, hastily, "I'm sorry if I forgot somethin' important or somethin'."

When Kira hears that he stops fighting the urge to hold back and reaches up to smooth out the tension from Ikkaku's cheek. "Forgot something? What do you mean? Tomorrow is just tomorrow," he says, solemnly.

Silence.

And then, a boggled, "What? Really?"

Kira nods, and is very bad at holding back his smile of amusement at the dumbfounded look on Ikkaku's face.

"Really? _Really_, really? You're not just sulkin' at me, are ya? 'Cuz I mean it. I'm a dick for forgettin'. We'll do whatever you want. I'll apologize for a week. Just be honest with me here."

Kira Izuru chuckles to himself and thinks that even if the circumstances are different now, it is still very clear that Ikkaku has not yet been able to completely forget all of those important lessons Ayasegawa Yumichika painstakingly sought to impart upon him during all their years together in the eleventh (and all the years before as well).

"I'm not sulking," he assures the other man, gently.

Ikkaku does not look convinced, and Kira wonders what, exactly, he will have to say to get his captain to believe him.

After a moment, he settles for a quiet, rather deliciously ironic, ""Give me a break, Ikkaku."

Ikkaku blinks, still confused. But then, then the meaning behind the words starts to sinks in, if only because Madarame has heard them from his own mouth many times since joining the third. "Waitaminute…did you just… are you…" he trails off, and sounds too genuinely shocked to do or say anything else for the moment.

Kira finds himself actually giggling. He buries his nose in Ikkaku's shoulder to keep the sound from bubbling out, because it is probably a very inappropriate time to be laughing.

"Fuck," Ikkaku grumbles, a mixture of awed and annoyed, "you really just did."

Kira nods.

Ikkaku grunts and smacks him lightly on the head then, looking very slightly put-out at being teased in this manner. "The hell did you do that for?" the third division captain mutters, sulking now. He is still very slightly suspicious.

Perfect.

Kira smiles and leans up to press a placating kiss to his captain's mouth before settling down next to him again. "Sometimes," he begins, around a small yawn, "it's hard for us to completely break away from the influence that someone important has had on our lives, don't you think?"

Ikkaku blinks.

And then he frowns, though he capitulates when it finally all comes together.

But even still, he can't help but scoff a bit and say, "I'm never letting you talk to Yumichika again."

The way he says it is annoyed but not angry, and the furrow in his brow is more thoughtful than anything else. Eventually, he sighs. "Night," he says, and the arm around Kira's shoulders even squeezes just a bit to show that there are no hard feelings.

"Night." Kira smiles and presses one last, quick kiss behind Ikkaku's ear before settling down to sleep, feeling extremely satisfied with tonight's outcome.

He thinks that maybe he will go ahead and make Ikkaku his favorite meal for tomorrow's dinner anyway.

And not just because he knows that he might get a new dresser for his troubles either.

**END**


End file.
